I was born in 1977, putting me on the cusp of generations X and Y. Most times I don’t feel like I belong to either; I don’t feel so burdened by society that I understand Sonic Youth, nor do I feel so aloof toward humanity that I grasp the appeal of a Second Life.

However, which side of the line I fall is obvious in the matters of texting. 

My techniques and mores about texting clearly demarcate me as a Generation Xer. The fact that I have mores about texting makes me a Generation Xer.

Sample text: I’m not sure yet. Maybe we can meet up at 7? So ready for a beer. 

I will not sacrifice grammar for time. Punctuation will be exercised. However, as a Gen Xer, I never want to appear to be trying too hard, so I must save face with a touch of casualness, i.e. so ready, beer.

Also, note the subtle use of needing approval, i.e. maybe, ?. Generation X, in its alienated heyday, was feely and mopey, disgruntled and ironically sappy. We were closeted sensitive types that would never admit we cared what others thought of us, but truly, really, we did. 

On the other hand, this three-line text is as long as it gets. We Gen Xers believe the function of the text message is getting important, task-driven information out to another person immediately. Sample use: Be there in five. This message is too short to warrant a phone call, too immediate for an email. 

Texting is also a way to way to have manners. I’m running 10 minutes late. And yes, if necessary, it’s a way to blow someone off… with manners. Sorry, just got this, phone was on silent. (You’d have to be born before 1980 to pull off a passive-aggressive apology/fuck-off combo, plus leave your phone on silent for longer than a movie, then have the nerve to pretend you haven’t looked at it seven times since.)

Generation X believes texting is NOT a means for simply saying “hi.” Or “work sucks.” Or “what are you doing?” (Unless you’re drunk and you have nothing left to lose but try to get laid at 3 a.m.) 

If us Gen Xers want to say a quick hello, or share something funny, we send an email. But we have to be bored, nostalgic, lonely or feeling guilty to take the time to type out a full graph. We do compose these emails, however, because again, we have emotions and know a tad bit more about one-on-one intimacy (just a tad, let’s not kid ourselves here) than a generation that best displays its array of feelings (lol, lmao, you suck) solely on Facebook walls. 

How we text: carefully. Generation Xers are the people stopped in the middle of the sidewalk in midtown near the crosswalk leading to the subway station. We’re better at multitasking than our parents, but we (or at least I) have no idea how to keep the pace or a conversation going while we think of what to compose. Again, this is because we are thinking about what to compose, not simultaneously being bored by the immediate world and expressing that boredom (I’m bored) through a handheld device.

As someone who has to work with Gen Yers, I’m fascinated, dare I say impressed, by their paradoxical plugged-in-ness and disassociation. When I first started teaching college kids, instead of being Old Schoolmarm Machado and demanding everyone put their phones away, I started taking note of how students handled their phones, most of which were plopped on their desks like Hello Kitty pencil cases were in the second grade. The students who stayed engaged in a class discussion on race (“Obama’s white?”) were the same ones who were typing away on their phones (probably things like “silly fuck”). 

So hats off, Gen Y. If you can play my game and your own too, then more power to you. I’m slowly learning to do both, because yes, I’m a generation that cares (casually) to learn things. A generation that dissects the phenomenon of texting, instead of simply, actively doing it. 

(Above: Blame Japan.)