I haven’t had much use for “gaydar” in a long time. When I see someone, their heteroness/homoness is either obvious or it’s not, and this is like noticing whether someone needs a haircut or is dressing too hipster for his age — it’s usually a fleeting mental note that has no pertinence or weight on the situation at hand.

The only time detecting someone’s sexual orientation seems necessary is when you’re trying to get laid. And for the most part, figuring out whether the object of my affection likes penis or not has never been a problem for me. My gaydar in the singles scene — back when I was dwelling amongst the trolls — was usually spot on based on the fact that I’ve never been sexually attracted to a gay man. This has nothing to do with me not being into affeminate men (I like ‘em gentle as much as I like ‘em rough) or even guys who primp and wear makeup (some guys can pull off eyeliner). No, what I like are dudes who I can tell want to fuck me too.  

But despite all my confidence in sniffing out others’ sexual orientation, I stumped myself the other day when I thought about the man above. I was first acquainted with Santino Rice on season two of Project Runway. There was something about him that was immediately attractive. Sure, he was funny, but if funny were enough, I’d have the hots for Tim Gunn or that queen Anthony from season seven. And yes, he’s tall and dark, which I like, but his eyeballs are a bit bulgy and he has dark circles (okay, maybe I’m attracted to myself), not to mention, he also has long, thinningish curly hair and ganky teeth. He’s not what you’d call no-brainer hot; he has that naughty Latin swagger like Benacio Del Toro, though done with more care and a bit of fuss. 

When his season aired, I never gave much thought as to whether Santino was gay or not. On some level, I sort of assumed he was because he (a) was on the show and (b) wasn’t married like most of the straight dude contestants often are, but I also didn’t think of him as gay because I was attracted to him. Mostly, I just thought of him as sexy and left it at that. 

Then the other day, my stepmom mentioned he had a new show on Lifetime. I tuned in and was immediately charmed once again by his deep voice and impeccable, masculine style. (How is he still able to pull off wearing a scraggly ponytail under a do-rag under a pageboy cap?) And for the first time, I questioned my gut. I googled two words: Santino gay. 

Let’s just say my initial subconscious feelings were right. (Mixed bag!) While my gaydar and pride need to be tested every once in a while, they’re still in check.