When I was in college and I lived with my parents, I visited 11 countries and 9 American cities in a three-year stretch. Back then, my living expenses were nil (aside from beer and Jack in the Box), and my savings account actually had a purpose.

Since moving out on my own and paying rent (i.e the last 10 years), the only new destinations I’ve traveled to are Canada and maybe three random U.S. states. Why? Because after leaving my parent’s nest in Hawaii at age 23, I’ve spent most of my vacations either visiting places I’d like to live or returning to places I once lived. 

If you were to psychoanalyze that last statement, you could say I’ve been on a perpetual quest for “home,” only to find solace in the homes I already knew. And I would agree: I go back to Hawaii every year for Christmas because I adore being around my family, not because I feel obligated. I also enjoy catching up and reliving old times (only now with 10 p.m. curfews) with my second family, my LA friends, whom I shared my second adolescence with in my 20s. Distance helps me to appreciate how wonderful it is to be loved, and to me, reconnecting with that love is a better paradise than a weekend in the Bahamas.

However, this does not mean that I’m a big sappy dork that doesn’t crave new adventures. It just means that I can’t afford to see my loved ones and fly off to Carribbean within the same year—just about any year of my adult life. While my emotional priorities may be in better check with age, my interest in financial planning has been at a deficit (which typically coincides with my bank balance). Steady paychecks and new summer wardrobes have been sacrificed for sanity and happiness in recent years, and I wouldn’t change any of those choices. Especially since I still have my charge cards.

But balance (not only in terms of my checking account) is something I continue to strive for. And in this coming year, my 33rd, balance will mean relishing in old fuzzy feelings as well as new ones. In other words, I’m committed to both spending a comfy Christmas around people I’ve known my entire life (drinking pina coladas on the beach, no less) as well as spending a hot steamy spring week in Morrocco with the man who is most important to me now. I’m ready to make those sacrifices. 

Paying off student loans will be saved for next year’s theoretical balance.  

(Above: Jessica Machado, world traveler, budding goth, age 19.)